Back in the Day — a Memo for My Boys


After an epic toddler melt down the other day, which included screaming, food throwing, and a naked three year old rolling around on my floor, I began to reminisce about who I was in my 20’s. That was pre-husband and pre-kids. Ahhh, the glory days, right?! I wondered if my boys will one day be curious about what life was like for me before they came around. So, to my boys — let me break it down for you . . .

I used to live on the 24th floor of a high rise in the heart of downtown, enjoying every second of the wild life.

Now I am packing up boxes to move to the suburbs so you all will have a sidewalk to ride your bikes on and a safe cul-de-sac in which to play.

I used to stay up past 10pm. In fact, I would probably start getting ready for my night at 10pm.

Now I put you both to bed by eight, head straight to my bed after (completely exhausted), and pray that you actually fall asleep before nine.

I used to go to bars, standing amongst hundreds of other sweaty bar-goers while dancing, singing and enjoying adult beverages.

Now? I look forward to lying in bed with your dad and watching a recorded episode of Dateline. I still enjoy that glass of wine though.

I used to sleep past 8am.

Now I would give anything to sleep past six. This waking up at the crack of dawn thing never seems to get easier over time. I don’t know how you all do it every day with so much energy!

I used to travel with my golf clubs in the trunk of my car at all times. In fact, I used to be pretty good at golf!

Now my golf clubs are collecting dust. I am patiently waiting to take you on the course with me, but first you need to understand that golf clubs are not swords or weapons.

I used to have a spotless car interior.

Now I have toys in the back, food on the floor, and dirty toddler footprints all over the backs of the driver and passenger seats.

I used to take vacations — whenever I wanted — to exotic locations with your father.

Now I am lucky to pack us all up and drive to Panama City Beach once a year. And let me tell you, listening to eight hours of Paw Patrol and “Are we there yet?” will drive an adult mad.

I used to buy whatever expensive purse was in style that season . . . and maybe I’d buy two.

Now I cannot even tell you the last time I bought a purse. In fact, most of my purses are filled with your animal cracker crumbs and toys.

I used to care what I looked like in a bathing suit. Like, really cared.

Now I rock my mom one piece with pride as I chase you all around the YMCA pool.

I used to care what people thought of me.

Now I only care about what both of you and your dad think of me.

I used to worry about what my big social plans were for the weekend.

Now I worry about your health, my health, mortgage, retirement, college savings, and that’s only the beginning.

I used to feel that my only goal in life was to be the best at my job and advance in my career.

Now my number one goal is to be the best mom and wife I can be.

I used to go to bed lonely imagining what my life would one day be like.

Now I go to bed feeling loved and needed. Not being able to imagine my life without you.

I used to feel unsure about what the future holds for me.

Now I am sure that as long as I have dad and you both by my side, I will always be in good hands.

I used to dream of living a life full of purpose, meaning, and love.

Now I am living my dream. And I have you all to thank for that.


  1. The beauty of motherhood is a commitment for life, it’s a heart matter, it will change you inside out forever. But it’s worth it,
    Kristen I like this!


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