I Am Tough — But I Need You

I grew up believing I did not need anyone and I prided myself on being able to do everything by myself. Quite possibly the default of being raised by a single mom, I was fearlessly self assured and strong willed. It wasn’t until I experienced motherhood that I realized I need you…..all of you guys.  And while I am perfectly capable of doing everything on my own, I do not want to anymore. And I am tough enough to say that I need all of you…….

I Am Tough — But I Need My Husband.

All day, I run this circus all on my own. But when you get home its the biggest relief of my day. I am sorry that it may not seem like I am excited to see you when you walk in the door. But I promise, you save me at the end of each day.

I love hearing the excitement in the voices of our children as you walk in. I crave hearing the giggles from the bedroom as they wait, not so patiently, for you the change clothes. It brings a smile to my face, even after the longest of days. My heart is so full when our family is whole again at the end of the day.

You bring me back to settled ground. Refusing to let me fail and reminding me that we are in this together. Our adventures through life are far more exciting together than they could ever be alone. And I can promise you, I am better and stronger with you by my side.

I Am Tough But — I Need My Mom.

While I live a few states away from my Mom, I still talk to her more anyone else. My mom is my home base. She gives me the feed on our whole family and is the recipient of most of my daily woes.

She is the person I grew up hoping that I could be for my children. This larger than life, can do it all by herself, loving and fun mother. I got all my independence, strength and love from her but there is no way I could do this without her. I still need her to calm me down, tell me I am a good mom and remind me that she wasn’t perfect either. She is always standing by my side (over the phone) helping me navigate the twists and turns of life. I can promise to you that I will forever strive to be there for my children, in the same way you have always been for me.

I Am Tough — But I Need My Real Friends.

Everyone has them — the no-nonsense, truth-telling friends you can call or text at any moment. The ones you send funny, gross, self-deprecating, or straight up grumpy messages to without hesitation. You pick them because you know you will get relief from their reply. When you are having the worst day, need a good laugh, or just need to feel a little bit of home in your heart, it’s them you reach for.

Having moved through three states, I have many friends I don’t get to see regularly. But that distance doesn’t mean they can’t save me when the waves start crashing down around me. I want to know that your kids didn’t sleep or laugh about your mishap of the day. I crave that connection that tells me we are in this world together — no matter where we have our feet.

Friends are the family that I have chosen. These are the people I choose to share the darkest, worst, and hardest parts of my life. Not because I have to but because I need to. I can promise as long as you are here to pick me up, I will be there to do the same for you.

I Am Still Tough.

Every day, there are hurdles I face alone. And I do it with full confidence. But now? I am tough enough to say that I need help sometimes. I would never want to face life without you — all of you.